My Barber’s Perspectives on Kemi Adeosun and others

My Barber’s Perspectives on Kemi Adeosun and others
I refer to my Barber as “Commentator”. That is because he talks endlessly and excitedly about almost everything, while attending to his customers. He radiates cheerfulness all the time. Apart from his adept barbing skills, his friendly disposition and chatty nature attracts some of us to his salon each time we get more sprouts of hair than we need.

A visit to my Barber’s salon is like attendance to a class. His customers are like a Teacher’s students. As usual, a “class” was in session, when I stepped inside that salon for a shave, this morning. When I sat down, I realized that some persons in today’s “class” were there to charge their phones and listen to “Commentator”, while only the person that was getting shaved, preceded me for a shave.

Everyone paid rapt attention, as “Commentator” took center stage. He speaks better English and looks trendier than most Barbers that I have met.

This morning, he talked about Mrs Kemi Adeosun who resigned as Nigeria’s Minister of Finance, last Friday. Her resignation followed a revelation that she used a fake National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) exemption certificate to secure her Ministerial position and a previous appointment as Commissioner in Ogun State. “Commentator” informed us that “Mrs Kemi absconded last night”.

Although he used the word “absconded”, he added that Protocol Officers and Security Personnel escorted her to the airport. “Commentator” spoke as if he was at the airport to witness that departure. Since I had no clue of that incident, I brought out my phone to search for a confirmation of it online, as “Commentator” kept talking and working. It turned out that several news platforms had actually published reports of that unconfirmed departure.

“That woman is very funny. Do you know that she wore NYSC uniform and lined up to shake hands with a foreign leader who visited Nigeria recently? I have the pictures in my phone!” He said it boastfully, as if his phone deserves an award for having such pictures.

Usually, I seldom add my voice to my Barber’s commentaries. But as he beckoned on me to take the seat that had just been vacated by the customer that preceded me, his comment caused me to calmly say what I know about pictures of Mrs Adeosun in NYSC uniform. I explained that although those pictures exist in the social media, there are photoshopped and edited for ulterior motives. I added that nowadays, technology has improved to the extent that pictures sometimes tell lies.

My explanation generated arguments between those who agreed with me and others who joined “Commentator” in insisting that Mrs Adeosun wore NYSC uniform on various occasions.

I have always known that misinformation is powerful. That knowledge got further amplified today, as the arguments on Mrs Adeosun’s supposed pictures got heated. It reiterated the fact that misuse of the social media spreads dangerous propaganda and ignorance. It means that Journalists are obliged to redress this anomaly by adhering to professional ethics at all times. They are equally obliged to correct incorrect information that is in the public domain.

Anyway, “Commentator” kept commenting. He abruptly said: “Do you know that ‘Abacha loot’ is synonymous with all of Nigeria’s looted cash in foreign countries? It does not matter if such cash was looted by Abacha or not. That’s why all Presidents since Obasanjo’s era to Buhari’s era have not been able to fully recover the cash”.

“Abacha alone could not have stolen such vast amount of cash. In short, any loot is now known as ‘Abacha loot’. That is how very soon, every forged document would be known as ‘Kemi Adeosun’”.

This caused everyone at the salon to laugh uncontrollably. It encouraged “Commentator” to suddenly delve into results of matches played yesterday, in the English Premiership. According to him, Watford would win this year’s title. That prediction generated another round of argument from his listeners. That’s “Commentator” for you. He introduces and enjoys random talks that lead to arguments. I felt that I have received my earful for the day from “Commentator”, as he finished his job on my beard and bald head.

But there was more to come. A young man he hailed as “Alfred De Mario! Supporter of Buhariism”, replaced me on the rocking chair, as I paid my fee and stepped out of there.

That label on the young man told me that the next topic in my Barber’s class was “Buhariism”. I missed that one.

Cornelius Ellah
Twitter: @lin_cornellah
Facebook: Cornelius Ellah


  1. Winnieenu Okpe September 16, 2018
    • admin September 17, 2018
  2. Winnieenu September 17, 2018

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