Why Bother over What you can Change?
Yes, why bother? Why do you worry? You change what you can and leave that which you really can’t change. If you have to bother about everything that goes wrong, you would literally shorten your very own life span; yes, by yourself.
Life, you know, throws a lot at you, and at everyone else. Life throws certain difficult and challenging people at you, like you’re alone in the world. You know what, even these difficult persons have their issues too. Just as you are struggling, so they too are struggling with something in their lives.
“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.
All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.” – Unknown Author
One thing, though, is that you are one person you know. You will not be able to speak 100% for another person, but you can largely speak for yourself. You will never be able to fully account for someone else’s choices, perception, behavior, attitudes, but you are expected to fully account for yours. Yes, because you are an adult.
This means that you cannot hinge your behavior, reaction, attitude and choices on others. Do you become a bitter person and plot evil, and then blame it on how someone was unkind to you? No. You remain accountable for your choices and actions. You cannot say, “I am like this because so and so is also like this”, or “I am behaving in this manner because so and so treated me in a certain manner”. That would be a defeatist way of thinking. It would also be a clear sign of immaturity and lack of personal responsibility.
In the home of self-development, there is always room for improvement.
Instead, you can take responsibility for your own life; your choices, attitudes, behavior, reactions and emotions. You have the power to choose this, especially as an adult.
If your colleague, partner, spouse, boss, relative, friend is so negative towards you, you can choose to worry yourself to death over it, or find a way to let it be and move on. You will have to choose whether to let-go of the hurt or to carry it along with you. Unfortunately, the more memories of hurts and pain you recall, recount and carry with you, the more the pain and hurt deepens. Simply let go and let God!
For me, letting go means: I know the hurt, I know the pain caused in my experience with this person, but I will not allow it to drown me in sadness and negativity (negative thoughts). I do not allow it determine what I do or not do. Though, it is only human that you may to some extent better restrain yourself from the person, however, whatever is within my power to keep me serene and positive, is the direction I would go. Still on the matter, I will not allow the negative experience control my choices. I will bring it to God and surrender it and just let it be.
If you don’t like something, change it;
if you can’t change it, then change your attitude! – Maya Angelou
On my part too, I look inward to see how best to improve myself. I will nurture positive thoughts and leave out the negatives. As much as possible, I will in turn ensure that I do not allow other persons have a negative experience because they encountered me. In the home of self-development, there is always room for improvement.
So why bother, if I can do something about it? And, why bother, if I cannot do anything about it? I may not be able to change the other person but I can gradually become a better person, as a result of my experience, be it positive or negative.
- Linda Ellah